Monday, October 26, 2009

Check out the lyrics to Fyleaf - you're teens are gonna love it!

I love the way that your heart breaks
with every injustice and deadly fate
Praying it all be new
and living like it all depends on you

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

I love that you’re never satisfied
with face value wisdom and happy lies
you take what they say and go back and cry
you’re so close to me that you nearly died

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

they don’t have to understand you
be still
wait and know I understand you
be still
be still

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
The floodgates are breaking
and pouring out

Here you are down on your knees
trying to find air to breathe
right where I want you to be again
i love you please see and believe again

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Right where I want you to be again
See and believe!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Investing in Our Children's Future - How do we do it?

1. Little by little - "A penny saved is a penny earned" my grandfather always told me as he'd go out of his way while on a walk with me, to plop a penny he found on the ground into his pocket. Eventually, silver coins also begin making their way into piggy banks and the change begin adding up. Before yo know it, your lightweight jar of pennies will turn into an interest-bearing account reaping benefits you may never have imagined.

2. Start early - Beginning to save early will provide a savings plan that works over time. The amount that can be saved over several years time rather than crunched into only a few years can really pay off and add up quickly. Any amount saved will be more than what your child(ren) will have had if you not saved at all or began the year before they began college.

3. Saving teaches diligence - Saving, teaches your children the importance of saving as well. It also teaches them to wait for things, something baby boomers have a very hard time with. Baby Boomers want it now and worry about what the actual cost in life is later. This can create undue stress and cause hardships that might hinder their actual attendance to college.

4. Reducing college costs - Cutting down costs on college tuition and or/expenses is just plain smart. Tuition, books, supplies and the like are rising each year and without a full scholarship or rich parents, kids have to work to put themselves through college. Any amount saved for college is less that must be allotted for when attending. Every penny counts!

5. Finally, saving is wise - Saving in any capacity shows you can control your money and not have it control you. Overspending, spontaneous buying and the "I want it now!" mentality have no place in responsible handling of your finances. If you incorporate saving as a way of life, purchasing a car, home or other large item will be that much easier to obtain without going in debt. Cash pays off and you can relax and enjoy your purchase knowing you own it free and clear. This is a reward in and of itself

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Choosing to Blossom Along the Journey

I was just thinking this morning about how a seed is rooted in the ground, nurtured with water to sprout, emerges either strong or weak, is pumped full of vitamin D from the sun and grows useful or dies pitifully. Kind of like the human life, wouldn't you say?

From before we were born, God knew us (Psalm 139:13-16) and had plans for us; plans for good and not for harm, plans to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). He knew us as a seed yet formed, rooted, nurtured and growing. WOW! How awesome is that?!
But, because of His great love for us, He gave us a choice. A choice to choose Him, to choose life through His Son Jesus, or to choose the world and all it has to offer, to choose death and eternity in hell (John 3:16).

When we choose life, just as with the seed rooted firmly in the soil, we can choose to be rooted firmly in Christ. God is a gentlemen, He will not force us to choose to love Him and accept His Son Jesus Christ. It just isn't going to happen. God created us with our own wills, (remember Adam and eve in the garden of Eden?), ya. We become firmly rooted when we spend time with God, reading His words to us in the Bible, filling our minds with heavenly things and being obedient to all He says. Sure, we are human and make mistakes. That was the whole reason we needed Jesus to be our Savior, but what little effort it takes to confess our wrong doings and receive Jesus' forgiveness, go on and become better because of God's unconditional love for us.

Our nurturing takes place when we love Jesus will all our hearts, minds, souls and strength, are daily spending time in God's word, memorizing scripture so that we don't sin against our Lord (Psalm 119:11), praise Him (Psalm 100:4) and allow the Holy Spirit to wash our lives with His word, empower us to lives well pleasing to our Lord and to be blessings to those God puts in our paths.

Time spent in the sun adds vitamin D to our bodies thereby enriching our very beings. So it is with time spent with the Son of God. Our lives are enriched beyond measure and as we grow in the knowledge of Him (II Peter 3:18) our lives are transformed into the image of Jesus (Romans 8:29).

Our lives are a journey of blossoming into what God has called us to become. We can either radiate the fragrance of lavander or emminate the vile stench of a corpse flower.
We can choose to grow or choose to shrivel up and die. It is all about choice; and it is a matter of life and death.



For further reflection I highly recommend-
(http://www.americamagazine.org/content/article.cfm?article_id=3206)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Tough Times Gettin' Tougher

With only four days until Ken hits the road for Arizona, I have found myself one moment in tears and the next excited about the adventure that lies before him. This new journey God has called us to is both scary and exciting, somehow all at the same time. God keeps speaking to my heart, "Remember, I am with you", Hebrews 13:5 and suddenly His peace covers me and I feel I have the faith to move a hundred mountains.

As these tough days get tougher, I must remember God will not give me more than I can handle with Him, nor will He abandon me, nor will He stretch me beyond my breaking point, no matter what I feel on any given day.

In my devotional Treasures for Women Who Hope by Alice Gray, I love the phrase "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars", spoken by Barbara Johnson in her book Irrepressible Hope. I definitely feel I am in the gutter and have always loved gazing at the stars. As a matter of fact, my oldest daughter Christina, gave me a wonderful gift a few Christmas' ago, naming a star after me. I received the certificate and a map of just where this star lies in the heavenlies. It was as if God Himself had declared a spot in heaven just for me through a simple star created at His command. WOW! As long as I keep looking up, focused on Jesus, I have hope. What more could I possibly ask for in such tough times as these.

God never promised me a rose garden, pie in the sky much less a life void of troubles and tough times. He did promise me I can do all things through Him (Philippians 4:13), He will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5), His grace is sufficient for me when I am weak (I Corinthians 12:9) and He will not allow me to be tempted beyond escape (I Corinthians 10:13) especially when I feel like jumping back in bed and hiding under the covers until these tough times are through. Because God has not given me a spirit of fear but a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7) I can resist the desires to run and hide and come boldly to His throne of grace because He is merciful (Hebrews 4:16). I can ask for strength and power to glorify Him through these trials (Matthew 21:22) and be a blessing to others.

So, if the tough times are getting tougher, I encourage you to hit your knees in prayer, crank up that praise and worship music and begin to thank God for seeing you through the trials and tribulations you are going through right now. He is so able, so capable and so wanting to love you and be loved by you.

If it were not for Ken's job loss, losing our home and going through bankruptcy, maybe we just might not be able to understand those who are suffering these things themselves, quite the same as if we'd been spared this suffering. With God on our side, who could possibly be against us (Romans 8:31) so I have no reason to fear what lies ahead, and neither do you if you are a child of God.

If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please me at Jesusismorethanenough@yahoo.com and I would love to tell you how you can receive Jesus as you Lord and Savior!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

7 Steps to a Healhty Marriage - last day for ths posting, thank you all for sending your suggestions and comments

COMMITMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to pursue with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa veraa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

7 Steps to a Healhty Marriage

COMMITMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to pursue with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa veraa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Monday, October 12, 2009

7 Steps to a Healhty Marriage

COMMITTMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to pursue with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

7 Steps to a Healthy Marriage

COMMITTMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

7 Stpes to a Healhty Marriage

COMMITTMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Friday, October 9, 2009

7 Steps to a Healhty Marriage

COMMITTMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

7 Steps to a Healthy Marriage

COMMITTMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

7 Steps to a Healthy Marriage

COMMITTMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Colorless People

We moved from the country
Where people shunned us so.
They walked by our home
Ignored us in our yard.
Not a look would they give us
We just weren’t good enough.
So we moved to the city
Where no one saw our color.

First day we moved in
Others reached out in friendship.
They crossed the street to meet us
No boundaries in their way.
They were as friendly as can be
Our house became our home.
We were accepted and fit in
‘Cuz no one saw our color.

As we drove around our neighborhood
Seeing people come and go,
Others smiled and waved at us
Like they’d known us all along.
We’re total strangers in their midst
But they didn’t care at all.
Our eyes were opened to the fact
Their color was our own.

No longer was there tan or black,
But people loving people.
Joy filled out hearts for neighbors that
Saw us as one of them.
No longer were there barriers
Invisible but true.
What peace we had in being here
Since no one saw our color.

We showed our appreciation
In the pies ‘n cookies we made.
Sharing them, one house at a time
Thanking them for their kindness shown.
This is where God wanted us
It was the time for change.
‘Cuz we all look the same
We’re Colorless people.