A Prayer Model for Living a Victorious Life

I attend one of the most on fire, radical life-changing, uplifting the spirit and soothing the soul churches anyone could ever hope to go to and yesterday was one of the MOST endearing services I have been to.

The topic was a prayer model to follow, the chosen lead scripture was Matthew 11:28, ironically the same exact one that a sweet adopted daughter of mine gave me just this past week. The concept, A.C.T.S.

Pastor Dan was explaining how we all find ways to escape our greatest struggles, failures and obsessions. God instructs us to come to Him because only He can give us rest, true rest. And what do we do, we go to everything else for a fake calm before the next storm of life blindsides us. We turn to other people to make us happy, shopping to anesthetize us to the realization we don't have it all, to substances for numbing against the pain, to busy-ness so that we don't have to face rejection, to job security so we don't have to trust a Being we cannot grasp a hold of with our human hands, and even to denial so we won't believe we need God.

What's up with us frail humans? We think we have it altogether when our lives are falling apart. When we become desperate, it is then we might finally turn to our loving Father and beg for His help. Pastor Dan likened this to his daughter who calls out to Him for a hug and eventual popsicle, being perfectly content with the popsicle. I liken it to partying our lives away and when we get caught up in our troubles it is then we need bailed out; now God is there to help us with open arms and a smile on His face. In a way this may be true as He says He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), but what God desires of His children and those who have not yet accepted Him, is for us to come to Him anytime, every time, all the time. With whatever spoils we have to lay at his feet, He can turn them into precious gems of infinite value, if we will only come....as we are.

The model of A.C.T.S. is a wonderful foundation we should all adopt on a daily basis. One in which will bring glory to God, support for our overburdened souls, strength in our spirits and rest for our weary bodies and minds. God expanded on this concept with me and made it quite simple.

A- adoration; adoration for our God, adoring Him above everything and everyone else in our life

C- confession; confession to our Lord; confessing those things we say, do and think that are displeasing to God

T- thanksgiving; thanksgiving for Jesus Christ; always being thankful for the One Who gave us eternal life

S- supplication; supplication from on high; receiving our daily supply of what we need from almighty God, precious Jesus and the ever comforting Holy Spirit

Wow! Concepts to change my life, give me strength, draw me closer to Jesus, provide rest for my body, mind and soul, help me grow in the ways of the Lord, give me hope, support others, pray with power, share the love of Jesus with all who cross my path, be humble before my Lord, loosen all power the enemy could have over me, and to give me abundant life on this earth.

Okay, am I missing something here. Hmmmm, turn to imperfect people for help or trust a most perfect God; spend money on things that will perish one day or savor time with someone Who can provide me with what I truly need not want; use and abuse substances that will alter my thought processes or remember God says I have a sound mind and He can heal my pain; remain too busy to hear from God or seek His plans and purposes for me to further His kingdom and glorify Him; find my security in a job that I can lose at any given moment or have my security in the Creator of all heaven and earth; believe in myself and deny I even have issues at all or know Jesus is worth believing in and trusting for every detail of my life, let's see which do I chose to live by?

HA! Who are we actually kidding?! When the world says, "Look to yourself", know that God says He is always near and waiting with open arms for you to rest in His care, His love, His peace, His salvation, His support, His protection, His comfort, His knowledge, His grace and mercy.



* Supporting scriptures are listed below to look up and concentrate on, contemplate their meanings and apply to your life. Believe and be blessed!


Adoration: I Chronicles 29:10-13, 29:20
Confession: I John 1:9, Psalm 32:1-5, James 5:16
Thanksgiving: Psalm 13:5-6, 69:30, 95:2, Philippians 4:6-7
Supplication: Philippians 4:6, Matthew 6:8, 7:7-11, I John 5:14-15, Ephesians 3:20-21

* To take part online in the wonderful service I commented on, go to
www.pureheart.org and listen to Sunday August 1st service under the column Items of Interest, Sermon downloads and sit back with a cup of coffee, tea or bottled water and enter into rest, rest that will change your life.

A Day of Loss....a Day of Victory

Today, my home in Grants Pass, Oregon was auctioned. How sorrowful I was upon waking this morning, so I stayed in bed until the auction was probably over. I had tried to make this house a home since 2001 and in February 2010, I and my family left our home in Oregon to move to Phoenix, AZ and begin a new life.

So many losing homes, so much sorrow and feeling of loneliness. But I had to stop and remember my real home is in heaven. This home of almost ten years, was only made of wood and nails. This home will one day perish anyway, but my home in heaven will not. It is there, waiting for me, waiting for me to reside in it when the Lord sees it is time for me to do so.

So why the sadness, lonely feeling and despair I asked myself. I believe it is because I lost my focus somewhere in building my home. God was the One Who gave me this home in the first place, He had every right to allow it to be taken away from me as well. So what does it really boil down to? Surrender.... that's what. Have I really surrendered not only my life, but my possessions God bestows upon me with however long I am possessor of them? Hmmmmm, I pondered this thought and came to the conclusion, no, I have not. I say I have, feel I have but deep down, I can see I have not.

I have been asking the Lord to show me everything He wants me to learn and gain out of losing my home. A sweet surrender is what He wants from me, and I have yet to totally and give myself and desires, dreams and wishes over to Him, completely, that's the key. There is so much I still hold onto and do not even realize it. So I pray, "Lord, please reveal to me any ways that are not pleasing to You. Show me the areas of my life, my heart and my mind I have not truly given to You. Love me enough to not allow me to continue owning those things that truly are not mine, or were not meant to be mine forever. Give me wisdom to see the difference between earthly living and Godly living in every single area of my entire being. May there be so much less of me and more of you. Let me rely on You completely and when You remove things from my life, take things back or say no to things I want to hear You say yes to, remind me Who is on the throne and who is sitting at Your feet. In Jesus name, Amen."

As I take a deep breath and sense God's presence in my midst, I can feel myself loosen my grip on certain things that hang me up. I smile and shake my head at myself for taking so long to see the truth and I sincerely thank God for loving me enough to not let me stay this way, to stay in darkness, in sin, not trusting Him and trusting in things.

I challenge you to let God dig deep into the very crevices of your heart and soul. Allow Him to show you areas you too may have entitlement to, so you can experience God's victory over bondage and sweet freedom from ownership of things in this dying and decaying world. May you be blessed be the One Who above all else, matters and loves you despite your weaknesses, failures and even disobedience. May God be you're all in all.

Beauty and the Beast - Life's 'lil Lessons

I received this from my sweet niece, Kelly Jarvis, and knew the lessons found within would be like valuable treasure to all who read on. Kelly is a missionary in Africa and is one of the most beautiful godly women I know.

"I was watching Beauty and the Beast tonight and in one of the songs they said something so profound I just had to share it with you all. It was the scene where Gaston learns that there is a beast and he wants to kill him and hang him on his wall. During the song they say, 'We don’t like what we don’t understand. In fact it scares us and this monster is mysterious at least.' These people didn’t understand anything about the beast. They saw the looks of him and were immediately scared by the appearance of him. Because they did not understand him, they didn’t like him and immediately grabbed up their pitch forks and guns to take down this beast. These people were missing out on the truth; this beast was kind and gentle (at this part in the story). This beast was special and Belle could see something in him that others could not, or perhaps were too afraid to see.

Many times in our lives God brings in a 'beast' for us to face. This beast could be in any form. For me right now, I’m facing the beast of change. There are so many changes that are going to be taking place in my life in the coming months it scares me. Am I going to fight the changes and the mysterious 'unknown' or am I going to allow God to work in my life as I experience these changes? Am I going to listen to my selfish desires and emotions and fight these changes or am I going to listen to God’s still quiet voice telling me that He will never leave me nor forsake me, and that He has plans to prosper and not to harm me? Am I going to get mad at the world because I’m not having my way or am I going to trust that all things work together for good to those that trust in the Lord?

Trust and faithfulness are two huge things God wants o develop in our lives. He does things in our lives that require us to trust Him even when we don’t agree or know what is going on. A beautiful Dutch missionary lady just died of cancer leaving behind two young children and a husband. The Lord said the harvest is great but the workers are few. So why would he allow this disease to take away one of His dedicated workers? She was a very intelligent linguist missionary who deeply loved the people she was working with. It doesn’t make sense to me, but I have to trust God. I choose to trust God because His plans are perfect. Life on Earth is not perfect, but God’s plans for our lives are perfect as long as we allow Him to work and not stubbornly cross our arms over our chest protesting against the God almighty telling Him he’s not doing it right! So I could throw a fit and grab my pitch fork in protest against the unknown, against the why's, but that wouldn’t do any good. All things work together for good…trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make your paths straight.

So I learned, thanks to Beauty and the Beast, when a mysterious beast is staring you in the face, your reaction should not be to instantly want to battle it, but to try and understand it so that it won’t scare you anymore. We need not to look at the appearance of something, but at the heart. I should not miss out on opportunities because I am too busy fighting a mysterious “beast” instead of joining the Lord in battle for the hearts of His people. The Lord is doing mighty things all over the world and no matter what changes, no matter what “beasts” He brings my way, I pray that my heart, my thoughts and my actions will be to submit to and glorify Him!"

God is able to do far more than we have ever imagined! To Him be the glory forever!
Ephesians 3:20

I believe satan had an aggressive assignment on Branden yesterday. I woke in a cold sweat and felt Branden had died. I ran in to check Branden and he was fine. I went back to bed and still felt disturbed so I woke my hubby and we prayed for Branden. Then about 9 am, my hubby let Branden's dog, Boomer out, his favorite buddy in all the world, to go potty. My hubby came in just for a minute while Boomer was on the side of the house and the next thing my hubby and I heard from inside the house was a hit and a yelp. We ran to the door and Boomer ran in the door with his butt tucked under his body looking scared to death. Sure enough the neighbor boy and his wife who were walking their dog down the street and came up and told us a truck going about 60 had just hit Boomer and spun him around a couple of times. They wondered if he was okay. We checked Boomer out and he laid around the rest of the day but seemed to not be hurting anywhere. Maybe sore, nothing seemed broke, no internal bleeding, nothing.

We know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was meant for Boomer to get hit and die. This would have devastated Branden. But what the enemy meant for bad God stepped in and said "No!" We are so very thankful. God truly watches over His elect....and their canine buddies. :-)

Psalm 16 - Trusting God Fully

Preserve me, oh God, for in You I put my trust. Oh my soul you have said to the Lord, "You are my Lord, my goodness is nothing apart from You." As for the saints who are on the earth, "They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight." Their sorrow shall be multiplied who hasten after another god; Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer, nor take up their names upon my lips.

O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance. I will bless the Lord Who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night season. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope. For you will not leave my soul, nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Harnessing Holiday Lonliness

Christmas is a time of year that many people feel lonely, sad, depressed and stressed. This may be you, or someone you love. There are several reasons why this may happen such as the loss of a loved one, financial troubles that won't allow for the purchasing of gifts or holiday treats for family, job layoffs or heavier than normal work loads, loss of homes and separated families. All of these events may cause numerous feelings of sorrow, anger, depression and overall loss and grief.

Experiencing such feelings as these can influence our beliefs, ideas, goals and dreams. While focusing on ourselves it is easy to be overcome and totally carried away, overwhelmed and sucked into life's traps. But this is not the answer to life's issues nor is it the way of escape.

God offers a much more reliable, steady and secure resolution to life's troubles.
As long as we are consumed with our own lives, we will not be as concerned with those around us as we should. We re told in II Timothy 4:17, "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it." Our purpose on earth is not to care for ourselves alone, but to attend to the affairs of others, thinking of others as more important than ourselves. Our purpose should be to share the love of Jesus with those in our circle of life.

Through our own pain, brokenness, grief and sorrow we can reach out to others who are also experiencing the same depressive emotions we are, yet we can offer them hope. Hope in Jesus, since all things are possible through Him, Philippians 4:13 there is hope beyond the pain. The love of Jesus which brings peace like a river is ours for the taking and once we look outward, rather than inward, life as we know it will begin to change and we will be able to count it all joy when we go through tribulation because the testing of our faith produces perseverance which in turn strengthens us for future affliction.

So basically we have two choices. We can remain in our present calamity and wish to survive the hopelessness or we can rise above our current situations and shift our concerns to those around us. Being eternally minded does have its advantages so the choice is ours.

The holiday season can motivate us to isolate ourselves and pretend no one else exists. Or it can cause us to face our fears, purge our pain and distinguish our depression so that we may be a blessing to others. Through Jesus Christ and with His strength, we can do all things. We can harness this holiday loneliness and create a more encouraging, less stressful life of purpose. Loneliness need not have its way in our lives anymore.

Trusting God in Uncertainty

This morning my hubby told me he had an interview with an employer in Arizona. It went well and he was offered a job with good pay, good insurance, nice place to work and a pleasant boss at that. I was excited but heard a sense of hesitancy in my husband's voice. He was not so sure we could find a place to live after having been through this year's trials. The outcome has not been pretty.

Uncertainty visits us all, especially in these times of economic trouble.
God reminds us to "Trust in the Lord always and lean not on our own understanding", Proverbs 3:5 God's ways are so much higher than mine so why should I lean on whatever understanding I have of any situation? Trusting in God leads to peace, God's will, assurance and security. Leaning on my own understanding usually gets me nowhere.

My family has had to trust God so much this past year and I must admit it has stretched us in so many different directions, but always closer to Him. We have not understand why my husband lost his job in January, our home at this present time, and our grown children have been scattered throughout three different states. We still don't know what His plans are for us, but we have chosen to lean not on our understanding because it is vain. Trusting God is the most logical, obedient and safest thing to do right now.

His plans for us are good, not to harm us but to give us a hope and a future, Jeremiah 29:11. Why should we worry when God is for us? Who then could possibly be against us? Trusting God is the right thing to do no matter how things look.

A Day of Refelction

This morning is a difficult morning already and it is only a little after 8 am. Baby is still gone, our family's old Lhasa Apso girl. She was blind due to dry eye that somehow causes her eyes to get stuck shut about every other day. I had just had a friend bathe her and I still needed to un-stick her eyes. A slow process that is not fun for either one of us but it provides a fraction of vision she needs to get around comfortably. Baby knew our house inside well, but the outside and off the deck was pretty much unknown territory.

It was about 1 pm yesterday that I was in a hurry to get ready for work and get out the door when I picked Baby up and gently gave her a shove out back so she could go potty without my supervision. When I put her out front, someone must watch her because if left for more than a few minutes, she wonders down the street like an elderly woman with Alzheimer's. I was rustling around getting things together and I last remember walking by the back door to see her go off the deck to go potty. I took a bathroom break myself and got caught up in finishing my hair so I could get to work on time looking half way decent. I rushed out the door, forgetting to let Baby back in. It as a very busy day for me and I didn't finish at the YMCA until
6 pm, home about 5:10 and then rushing around yet again to grab my notebook and Bible and had off the Divorce Care for Kids at Parkway Christian Center. My second intern job. Still, I had not remembered I had left Baby outside. By 9 pm I was exhausted and excited to find my daughter and her hubby came up from California to visit. I was thrilled it was time to take all the doggies out for their potty breaks before they were locked up for the night. This was around 11 pm and it hit me, Baby was not in the house for me to let out. I thought my heart was going to stop. I quickly grabbed my coat and ran outside with a flashlight , combing every inch of the yard overgrown with grass and dead weeds. I called and called, no answer, no movement. I went form one corner to the next, scanning the edges against the fence, looking under boards, anywhere she might have wondered as she was seeking shelter to stay warm. My daughter came out with flashlight in hand, inspecting every inch of the rain-soaked yard and into our pasture of half an acre, scouring ditches and hunting along fence lines for a little ball of fluff; lifeless or not. With temperatures in the low 30,s a small, bony dog has little chance of survival past a few hours, not to mention late into the frigid night. We jumped in the car and drove up and down our street for an almost an hour, checking out ditches, looking behind bushes and under parked cars in driveways. She was nowhere to be found.

It is almost 9 am and still not sight of Baby. I can count the times I woke last night, shuffled to the back door, flipped on the patio light and peered out the frosty window in hopes of seeing her huddled against the glass door. Realizing this is all my fault why she is not comfortably sleeping under my coffee table, just a couple of feet from a splendid fire in our woodstove, I cried off and on throughout the night, one minute wondering where she could be; did she find one of the escape holes to the front yard and wander down the road again only to be picked up by someone driving by? Hopefully this was her fate. Perhaps someone who caught sight of her before running her over and felt sorry for her, whisked her up into their car and she rested all night in a warm, cozy warm living room with a snack before nodding off to sleep. Prayerfully, she is still sleeping as she usually does until about 11 am, and then wakes to a nice breakfast and lots of petting an calm, soothing voices around her. I can only hope and pray she is alright.

I guess this is where trust comes in, in its fullness. I caused this most unfortunate event and there is nothing I can do to ensure Baby's safety, warmth, or security right now. It is up to God. I will keep praying for Baby and have informed my family and friends, near and far, of the dire need to be praying for her safety, wherever she is.

God reminds us to "Trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding" in Proverbs 3:5. I must trust God for Baby's safety and very life and lean not on my own understanding of what might have happened to her. knowing God wants me to trust in Him, makes me feel a bit better because I know God is able to keep that which concerns me. So in this case, I believe He is with Baby, wherever she is; watching over her and calming her fears. Now, I must continue on with my day, praying for her return and trusting God to care for her as His creation. Trusting God . . . what a lesson indeed.

Not my own.........

Kenny called me and told me he had another job offer from the Christian owner of the tire shop we visited while there last March. Now going from $25 per hour to $15 I hourly is a significant reduction, but as I began to think about it, I heard God whispering to me that He was giving me the desires of my heart. I said, “What? How?” He brought to memory the past several years I have been asking Him to draw me closer to Him and to help me trust Him to a greater degree. Wow! This is it? Figures it has to involved finances, one of the hardest areas to totally surrender. I have not had trouble cheerfully giving 20% of my income when I made good money, but was I ready for us to live on almost half of what Ken made here in Oregon to grow closer to God, to trust him more fully? If not, whoa! I have a bigger issue on my hands than my distance from God or lack of trusting Him fully.

Am I trusting in money through Ken’s job or want to avoid stressing about money? That’s not trusting God for my finances. Do I want Ken to make more money so we can help our kids and others? That’s not trusting God to financially care for or provide for them. Would I rather have more money to give to God? I know God doesn’t need my money and can multiply any amount we give to increase the kingdom for Him.

Surrendering means giving up what I think I have a right to. In all actuality, when I gave my life to the Lord, did I mean for a time, only if certain requirements were met or just specific areas of my life? I don’t recall making a deal with him such as this but somehow when it comes to asking more from me than I had expected to give, conditions fill my head and fear seems to grasp my heart.

Have I not built enough monuments reminding me of God’s faithfulness, protection, goodness and sovereignty? Why would I think he would stop supplying our needs when that is basically what we are going out to Arizona with and not much else? Why is it hard for me to trust Him yet again, when I have peace about this decision of Kenny’s even though it was NOT my first choice? Could I be engineering my own peace over this massive pay deduction? Uh, I would think not.

So I have a choice . . . will I surrender or grasp tightly that which doesn’t belong to me in the first place? Hmmm, let me think, or rather pray about this. What is there really to think about? What is there really to pray about? Do I love God or not? Have I totally given Him my life or have I not? Do I trust Him or don’t I? I believe a surrender that brings me closer to sweet Jesus and causes me to trust in Him more is the only choice for me. Awww, a sweet surrender it is. Arizona, here we come!

7 Steps to a Healthy Marriage

COMMITTMENT

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "from this day forward.." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part' have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival. Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.

Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with eachother's blessing and support.


AGREEMENT

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.

Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.


COMMON INTERESTS

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on. Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.

As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.


FORGIVING FOREVER

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.

Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.


GIVE AND TAKE

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 110% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with their own responsibilities leaving the other carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.

Sure there will be times when one spouse may only be able to give say 60%. This is where the other spouse will need to give 140% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the new demands is extremely important. This occasional overlap allows needs to still be met, responsibilities to be taken care of while peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse kicks back for too long, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to work through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Keeping things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This deposit is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage to pieces. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.


POWER OF APOLOGY

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I'm truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.

When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness. Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you're sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.


BEING THANKFUL

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.

Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life's greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.