A Day of Loss....a Day of Victory

Today, my home in Grants Pass, Oregon was auctioned. How sorrowful I was upon waking this morning, so I stayed in bed until the auction was probably over. I had tried to make this house a home since 2001 and in February 2010, I and my family left our home in Oregon to move to Phoenix, AZ and begin a new life.

So many losing homes, so much sorrow and feeling of loneliness. But I had to stop and remember my real home is in heaven. This home of almost ten years, was only made of wood and nails. This home will one day perish anyway, but my home in heaven will not. It is there, waiting for me, waiting for me to reside in it when the Lord sees it is time for me to do so.

So why the sadness, lonely feeling and despair I asked myself. I believe it is because I lost my focus somewhere in building my home. God was the One Who gave me this home in the first place, He had every right to allow it to be taken away from me as well. So what does it really boil down to? Surrender.... that's what. Have I really surrendered not only my life, but my possessions God bestows upon me with however long I am possessor of them? Hmmmmm, I pondered this thought and came to the conclusion, no, I have not. I say I have, feel I have but deep down, I can see I have not.

I have been asking the Lord to show me everything He wants me to learn and gain out of losing my home. A sweet surrender is what He wants from me, and I have yet to totally and give myself and desires, dreams and wishes over to Him, completely, that's the key. There is so much I still hold onto and do not even realize it. So I pray, "Lord, please reveal to me any ways that are not pleasing to You. Show me the areas of my life, my heart and my mind I have not truly given to You. Love me enough to not allow me to continue owning those things that truly are not mine, or were not meant to be mine forever. Give me wisdom to see the difference between earthly living and Godly living in every single area of my entire being. May there be so much less of me and more of you. Let me rely on You completely and when You remove things from my life, take things back or say no to things I want to hear You say yes to, remind me Who is on the throne and who is sitting at Your feet. In Jesus name, Amen."

As I take a deep breath and sense God's presence in my midst, I can feel myself loosen my grip on certain things that hang me up. I smile and shake my head at myself for taking so long to see the truth and I sincerely thank God for loving me enough to not let me stay this way, to stay in darkness, in sin, not trusting Him and trusting in things.

I challenge you to let God dig deep into the very crevices of your heart and soul. Allow Him to show you areas you too may have entitlement to, so you can experience God's victory over bondage and sweet freedom from ownership of things in this dying and decaying world. May you be blessed be the One Who above all else, matters and loves you despite your weaknesses, failures and even disobedience. May God be you're all in all.

Harnessing Holiday Lonliness

Christmas is a time of year that many people feel lonely, sad, depressed and stressed. This may be you, or someone you love. There are several reasons why this may happen such as the loss of a loved one, financial troubles that won't allow for the purchasing of gifts or holiday treats for family, job layoffs or heavier than normal work loads, loss of homes and separated families. All of these events may cause numerous feelings of sorrow, anger, depression and overall loss and grief.

Experiencing such feelings as these can influence our beliefs, ideas, goals and dreams. While focusing on ourselves it is easy to be overcome and totally carried away, overwhelmed and sucked into life's traps. But this is not the answer to life's issues nor is it the way of escape.

God offers a much more reliable, steady and secure resolution to life's troubles.
As long as we are consumed with our own lives, we will not be as concerned with those around us as we should. We re told in II Timothy 4:17, "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it." Our purpose on earth is not to care for ourselves alone, but to attend to the affairs of others, thinking of others as more important than ourselves. Our purpose should be to share the love of Jesus with those in our circle of life.

Through our own pain, brokenness, grief and sorrow we can reach out to others who are also experiencing the same depressive emotions we are, yet we can offer them hope. Hope in Jesus, since all things are possible through Him, Philippians 4:13 there is hope beyond the pain. The love of Jesus which brings peace like a river is ours for the taking and once we look outward, rather than inward, life as we know it will begin to change and we will be able to count it all joy when we go through tribulation because the testing of our faith produces perseverance which in turn strengthens us for future affliction.

So basically we have two choices. We can remain in our present calamity and wish to survive the hopelessness or we can rise above our current situations and shift our concerns to those around us. Being eternally minded does have its advantages so the choice is ours.

The holiday season can motivate us to isolate ourselves and pretend no one else exists. Or it can cause us to face our fears, purge our pain and distinguish our depression so that we may be a blessing to others. Through Jesus Christ and with His strength, we can do all things. We can harness this holiday loneliness and create a more encouraging, less stressful life of purpose. Loneliness need not have its way in our lives anymore.

Not my own.........

Kenny called me and told me he had another job offer from the Christian owner of the tire shop we visited while there last March. Now going from $25 per hour to $15 I hourly is a significant reduction, but as I began to think about it, I heard God whispering to me that He was giving me the desires of my heart. I said, “What? How?” He brought to memory the past several years I have been asking Him to draw me closer to Him and to help me trust Him to a greater degree. Wow! This is it? Figures it has to involved finances, one of the hardest areas to totally surrender. I have not had trouble cheerfully giving 20% of my income when I made good money, but was I ready for us to live on almost half of what Ken made here in Oregon to grow closer to God, to trust him more fully? If not, whoa! I have a bigger issue on my hands than my distance from God or lack of trusting Him fully.

Am I trusting in money through Ken’s job or want to avoid stressing about money? That’s not trusting God for my finances. Do I want Ken to make more money so we can help our kids and others? That’s not trusting God to financially care for or provide for them. Would I rather have more money to give to God? I know God doesn’t need my money and can multiply any amount we give to increase the kingdom for Him.

Surrendering means giving up what I think I have a right to. In all actuality, when I gave my life to the Lord, did I mean for a time, only if certain requirements were met or just specific areas of my life? I don’t recall making a deal with him such as this but somehow when it comes to asking more from me than I had expected to give, conditions fill my head and fear seems to grasp my heart.

Have I not built enough monuments reminding me of God’s faithfulness, protection, goodness and sovereignty? Why would I think he would stop supplying our needs when that is basically what we are going out to Arizona with and not much else? Why is it hard for me to trust Him yet again, when I have peace about this decision of Kenny’s even though it was NOT my first choice? Could I be engineering my own peace over this massive pay deduction? Uh, I would think not.

So I have a choice . . . will I surrender or grasp tightly that which doesn’t belong to me in the first place? Hmmm, let me think, or rather pray about this. What is there really to think about? What is there really to pray about? Do I love God or not? Have I totally given Him my life or have I not? Do I trust Him or don’t I? I believe a surrender that brings me closer to sweet Jesus and causes me to trust in Him more is the only choice for me. Awww, a sweet surrender it is. Arizona, here we come!

Check out the lyrics to Fyleaf - you're teens are gonna love it!

I love the way that your heart breaks
with every injustice and deadly fate
Praying it all be new
and living like it all depends on you

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

I love that you’re never satisfied
with face value wisdom and happy lies
you take what they say and go back and cry
you’re so close to me that you nearly died

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

they don’t have to understand you
be still
wait and know I understand you
be still
be still

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
The floodgates are breaking
and pouring out

Here you are down on your knees
trying to find air to breathe
right where I want you to be again
i love you please see and believe again

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Right where I want you to be again
See and believe!